A SPURIOUS LEXICON OF BACKPACKING TERMINOLOGY
• by Rich Fawcett •
The language of a sport often reflects its coming of age, the degree to which the activity has found its place as an accepted and approved activity in our culture.
By studying the advertisements for beer, cigarettes and sport utility vehicles, it may be easy enough to look like a backpacker or, through self-conscious effort or tragic accident, to walk like one. It's quite another matter to gain the aura of verbal verisimilitude typical of the ambulatory raconteur. As William Hazlitt failed to comment in his well-known treatises on walking, "You've got to talk a good game".
With this list and a tenuous grasp on reality, the novice may reach a level of esoteric communication sufficient to obfuscate vast numbers of the uninitiated including shopping mall salespeople, motorhome drivers and small children. The correct use of this glossary will quickly reward the reader with self-satisfying waves of egomania never before experienced. Carefully planned but seemingly casual insertion of the professional jargon described here will happily result in blank, admiring stares and unknowing nods from listeners who, perhaps for the first time, pay homage to the user's apparent expertise.
Anorak - An early model pack frame made of wood, bolts, and cotton webbing. Distinguished by unpadded web shoulder straps and lack of hip belt. {see hut and svea}
Ascender - The last member of a climbing party or line of hikers.
Azimuth - A respiratory problem attributed to long-term exposure to dry-season U.S. Forest Service roads.
Balaclava - 1. A triangular, three-stringed instrument used especially in Russia. Often played at base camp gatherings. 2. A rich pastry common to Greece and Turkey, often carried by European backpackers.
Bear Bag - A camp game in which contestants attempt to hoist a heavy container of food onto a fragile tree limb without breaking the limb. The winner must place the bag a sufficient distance from both the trunk of the tree and the ground.
Blaze - In mythology and folklore, marks direction of trail by means of broken twigs, bread crumbs, etc.
Cagoule - A night creature thought to inhabit rainy deciduous forests.
Chock - High-energy food supplement tablets, often carried as trail snacks. In rock-climbing, a soft, easily crumbled, light colored form of rock.
Contour Lines - See voyageur.
Crampon - Painful contraction of leg or foot muscles especially in cold weather.
Ensolite - A small, lightweight, battery-operated lantern. Operates especially well in brightly lighted living rooms.
Fly - Ventilating device commonly installed in lower body garments.
Gaiters - A diminutive and affectionate term for genus Alligator. {regional colloquialism common to southern U.S.}
Glissade - A non-carbonated, unsweetened beverage made from berries of various wild plant. Developed in 1939 by the late Toxin Gliss (1909-1939).
Gorp - See Svea.
Gusseted Tongue - Painfully folded and cracked condition believed caused by excessive consumption of freeze-dried food.
Hip Belt - A suspension device which, to relieve pressure on the shoulders, concentrates the entire pack weight on two one-inch diameter points on wearer's hipbones.
Hut - [from German hutte] A guttural cry traditionally uttered as the pack is hoisted from the ground. In folk medicine this is believed to be a preventative for hernia.
Latitude - A condition of lethargy and listlessness experienced by cold weather backpackers. Symptoms are most severe immediately preceding preparation of morning meal.
Loft - A hypothesized physical phenomenon attributed to various arrangements of substances used as fillings in garments and especially sleeping bags. Widely considered as mythology.
Lug Sole - Deterioration of foot tissue caused by prolonged wearing of non-breathable hiking boots in hot, dry conditions while carrying heavy loads.
Moleskin - A dermatological condition occurring principally in rainy climates and caused by continued wearing of wet clothing. {see svea}
Norwegian Welt - Localized swelling and abrasion of upper ankle or lower legs at boot-top level. {see Ome Daiber}
Ome Daiber - A general unit of measure used to indicate amount of leather seal in container, rate of exchange, quantity of liquid left in canteen, fuel remaining for stove, etc. Term derived from Ome Sven Daiber of Norway, first hiker to suffer moleskin {see separate entry}. Daiber also claimed the first ascent of the Fluegelhorn.
Optimus - One inclined to take the hopeful view (that blisters will not form, rain will stop, the summit is near, etc.).
Orienteering - Specialized hiking and climbing techniques developed by Japanese mountain clubs, used mainly in the Far East.
Pemmican - 1. A web-footed water bird with a long, pouched bill. 2. The scat thereof.
Petzoldt - A hard, salty dough often shaped into knots. Lightweight but low in food value.
Rain Chaps - English walkers noted for utter disregard of wet weather conditions.
Ragg Socks - Derogatory term for well-used stockings following an extended trip.
Rappel - Technique of avoiding undesirable trail companions. {see voyageur}
Slack - In rock climbing, a specially designed trouser. {from Old Norse slagabodenden meaning twelve pocketed}
Stream Crossing - Random, capricious, and entirely unnecessary misdirection of a trail route humorously provided by trail developers for entertainment of hikers.
Svea - An expletive associated with distasteful aspects of the wilderness experience.
Switchback - An amusing trail game intended to startle the hiker following the player. Requires overhanging twigs, greenbrier vines, etc. Any number can play.
Topo - {no example believed to exist}
Trailhead - A hiking enthusiast addicted to offroad foot travel. This condition is, unfortunately, incurable and worsens as the activity increases.
Trowel - A cry of anguish or warning. Similar to "track", "on your left", "rock", "falling".
Understory - A modestly stated account of a hiking or climbing expedition in which actual wind speeds, temperatures, distances, etc. are reported accurately.
Voyageur - A term of derision designating unattached males among coed hiking groups. {see rappel}
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